Friday, 30 March 2012

That 'So... what now?' Feeling

March has been a pretty busy month for me, I'm not going to lie. There was a lot that I had to get done for Uni and as a result, blogging and writing took a back seat. As they should, I think, given that I am supposed to be a student first and blogger/writer second.

But now it's March 30th, I've just handed in the last of my essays before the three weeks of the Easter holidays begin and it's sort of left me feeling a bit... strange. Do you know what I mean? When you're whole life is focused in around one thing and when that one thing happens, in the aftermath you feel kind of... dead? That pause and then 'What now?' thing? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. It's happened me a few times recently.

The first was right now when I handed in my essay. I had two of them, both 2000 words long. English and students of the arts will laugh at me right now for complaining about 4000 words because, let's face it, that's their lives! However, as a science student, I'm really not used to writing essays at all. Most of our work is based on practicals and lab reports of very limited wording. So essays were a bit of a shock to the system! For the past 3 weeks all my house mates and friends have got has been: "Nah, I don't think I've time. I have these essays for next week." I kinda looked like this for a while:

But  I've been so focused on getting these essays done that now they're finally handed in, I kind of don't know what to do with myself! (I should probably start working for my exams in May, but I can't begin to even think about those right now!)

The second was in reference to this movie that was kind of a big deal recently. You might have heard about it. Something about Hunger Games? Yeah. That one. As you may or may not know, I read these book a long time ago. I think Catching Fire (book 2) had just been released when I read them, so in terms of the fandom, everyone's been jumping on my bandwagon. I saw it for the first time on the night before it was released in the UK. (It was an advanced screening!) And it was amazing. There were some few subtle changes from the book, but they were so well done that I didn't mind. The majority of it was so damn faithful to the books, it was like watching what had been happening in my head while I was reading the book. I think I may have a girl crush on Jennifer Lawrence. She's amazing.
But again, that same thing happened when it was over. I felt kind of... empty inside. I had been waiting for years for this movie to come out, and I got so into all the hype in the run up, that when it was all finished, I had no clue what to do.

They're all so beautiful. Damn you Hollywood.

The third and final type of this feeling will be the one probably most familiar to my readership. I have never had the fortune of finishing my own original piece of fiction, but I have finished a fair few fan fictions in my earlier days. And it was always the same with them. As I typed, or penned, that last sentence the first feeling was, "Oh my gosh, I've finished!" followed soon after by that crash of "my life no longer has a purpose." Yes, very melodramatic, but for a short period of time after finishing something that has taken over your life, it does kind of feel like that?

Or am I on my own? Perhaps it's my obsessive personality that leads to me feeling empty after finishing goals that I've set myself.

Do you ever feel like this? Or if you don't, how do you feel when you finish something big?

Sarah x

p.s. this post is nearly 700 words and has taken me a little over 30 minutes. Why on earth cant this be my speed of output when I'm doing school work? Life would be so much easier...


  1. I know EXACTLY what you mean. :P When I finish reading a book, I get this feeling. When I finisn an exam, after the initial burst of elation I get this feeling. After performances, plays, etc. as well.

    The strongest instance of this was in 10th grade, after my first (and only) year of marching band. Marching Band season had just finished, and I remember wandering around in a daze wondering what the heck to do with all this free time.

  2. March did fly by quickly, didn't it?

    I am so relieved when I finish a project I can't help but be ready to start something else. Then again, I usually hate a lot of my books by the time I'm done. It's a love hate relationship that works for us. :)


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