Friday, 10 February 2012

Emotion Flash Fiction - I'm Hearing Voices - Final Day

I have enjoyed these last few days so much! Hello to all my new followers, I hope you like what I have to say! I promise I'll get around to checking out everyone who commented and followed me, and everyone who entered the 'fest, but I just didn't realise how hectic my 2nd week back to Uni could be!

Thanks goes to Cassie and Angie for this amazing blogfest. It's been super fun!

Now, my emotion is a little unorthodox. There's a bit of a debate on the internet as to whether 'loneliness' is actually an emotion, but I've made an executive decision and for the purpose of this blog, it is. Without further ado, here is the flash fiction. Enjoy!

She felt sorry for me, the waitress, as she cleared away the cutlery from the other side of the table set for two. It was the way she looked at me, with her almost imperceptible smile and the haste with which she lowered her eyes from mine.
I knew that making friends in a new place would be difficult, but I had never anticipated this. At first, I tried to pretend I didn’t care. But eventually, it gets even the strongest of us, sucking life like a parasite. It starts off slow, but builds up, and up until the roar of silence that surrounds you is deafening. Mid-afternoon, while innocently placing a coffee order, I realised that the only soul I’d spoken to all day was paid not to ignore my existence. The thought left me hollow, and cold.     
Inside my head, my consciousness struggled to compensate and, instead of actually having them, I begun to imagine the conversations I would have. The highlight of my week was my Sunday night call from Mother.
“It’s great”, I lied, my pride refusing to permit the truth. I had been so desperate to unfurl my wings and fly. Perhaps if I’d known that my fate was, instead, to fall, I wouldn’t have been so eager. I would grasp at straws, teasing out every morsel of conversation that I could before her inevitable goodbyes.
As the waiter passed, I pulled my phone from my pocket and checked for a message that wasn't there.

Word count: 250. Like a boss.

Sarah x


  1. Aww, that was really well written. You portrayed the loneliness very well. :D

  2. The loneliness definitely came through! Great post.

  3. Loneliness is such a horrible feeling.

  4. Oh this is so sad. Loneliness can be crushing sometimes, and you described it perfectly.

    I especially liked the reflection on the conversation with mother being the highlight of their week.


  5. Loneliness is a definite emotion, since you totally made me feel it with this piece. I like the line "I realised that the only soul I’d spoken to all day was paid not to ignore my existence." So sad. Totally brought me there.

  6. I LOVED this Sarah!!! Loneliness is most definitely an emotion. Who thinks it isn't? Weird! This piece was heart breaking and wonderfully written :)

  7. Aww. Man. I feel so bad for her! It has to get better!!
    Also, it was a boss! (Yay Lonely Island Reference. Irony?)

  8. I think we've all felt this at one time. Wonderful job, Sarah!

  9. Yeah...loneliness is an emotion and I can feel it here. So sorry. Good job.

  10. Aloha, or should I say "How's it going" Sarah,

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and I'm already looking forward to your post on my "Got Green?" O'hop :)

    Loved this flash fiction... totally felt how lonely she was... the waitress being *paid* to talk to her was a *great* line - you have a new follower, to be shure :)

  11. Yes. Definitely loneliness. Leaves me feeling empty. Well done!

  12. What a sad situation for your character to be in. I love the PAID line :)

  13. You did great with this. So sad and depressing. I like to eat by myself... when it's my choice. Not so cool when it's not. A total "feeler." And I agree with Carol. That "paid" line, struck a cord.

  14. I wanted you to know you are in my top 10 for this challenge :)

    1. Oh wow! Thank you very much! Out of almost 90 participants that means a lot to me!

  15. I can definitely relate to the loneliness and frustration of moving to a new place and trying to make friends. I enjoyed this piece very much.


I love reading your comments!