Saturday, 18 December 2010

My Fanfiction History - The Tokio Hotel Year

Next up we have that rather strange German Pop/Rock band, Tokio Hotel.

I don't know what it was, but I saw them on TV in September 2007 and just fell in love, especially with Bill, the lead singer. I thought he was beautiful!

My first fanfiction about them carried on my trend of being unbelievably predictable and silly. It was based around the twins (The one with the black hair and the one with the dread locks in the picture are indeed twin brothers...) who moved to England to complete their school education. (Why I have no idea, but it meant I could write it in English, instead of German). So the main girl in it, she was again, bullied and horribly mistreated by her fellow classmates. She almost went as far as throwing herself off the roof of the school (Which matched the title of the story and one of Tokio Hotel's songs: Don't Jump). But of course this handsome, foreign stranger came to her rescue (Bill) and there began a beautiful adventure of Exams, general school drama, and then she joined the band in Germany for a tour. It all came full circle when she rescued Bill from a roof contemplating suicide after she left him for a misunderstanding.

Oh, how deeply emotional and complex my characters were. Look! They felt so bad they were going to kill themselves!... >_>


Please don’t do this,” begged Bill, tears in the corners of his eyes.

“Bill, let go please,” I whispered softly, lowering my face, unable to look him in the eye.

“Not until I get a face to face explanation.”

“I said what I needed to say in the letter.”

“Then say it again, and say it to my face,” he shouted, raising his voice.

“Fine!” I snapped, “Bill I need to get away. This is just too much for me. I’m going to go insane!” Being mad at him was impossible; I softened my face and put my hands on his cheeks.
“I love you, you’re my world, you’re my everything, but I just can’t cope with all the other crap.”

“Ok, then we delay the tour and take a holiday,” he suggested, trying to rationalise things.

“No Bill, you don’t get it. It needs to be away from you. If you come, then everything I’m trying to escape from comes too. I just need a break, without you.”

To my surprise, he nodded in understanding.
“You’re coming back though?”

I didn’t answer, just looked down at the ticket in my trembling hands.
“Emilie, you’re coming back aren’t you?” he repeated, his voice more urgent.

“I don’t know,” I whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear.

“You’re… you’re not coming back are you?” he asked, his voice breaking as he choked up.

“I said I don’t know,” I shouted desperately as tears poured down my cheeks, “Bill, my flight, I have to go.”

“Emilie, tell me you’re coming back,” he pleaded grabbing onto my arm again as I tried to leave.

“I… I can’t.”

He let go of my arm. I was trembling, I hated myself for what I was doing to him. I was tearing his heart out and stamping on it. Unable to bear the tension between us anymore, I whispered a goodbye softly and turned to go. Once more he grabbed my arm and spun me around. His lips crushed against mine and I melted. He was crying too, I could feel his tears mixing with mine as we kissed. I couldn’t take it any longer. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away, breaking the kiss.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I turned and ran towards the gate. I heard him call out my name behind me but I refused to turn around. I couldn’t look at him anymore; my heart couldn’t take much more.

Oh how my heart bleeds... Actually, on second thoughts I don't think it's that bad when it's out of context. In reality their conflict was very petty and fuitile and wouldn't have amounted to that level of drama. One good thing I learnt from this though, was how much I enjoyed writing in 1st person. It gives a really good perspective for emotion and you can really get into it, especially as a writer.

Next I wrote a shameless self insert, which for those of you who don't know is where you put your actual self into the story, not as a character, but just plain old you! Only I wasn't so plain. I was a musician and our band was at the EMA awards in Munich with Tokio Hotel. At the after party we all become the best of friends, and that's when the Eco terrorists attack! MWHAHA. Yes. So terrorists attack, holding us 'celebrities' hostage. Oh the fun. Then we try to escape all James Bond style, because the story would be boring otherwise. Oh, and I made a pretty picture to go with it!


Published: 17th April, 2008. Read it here

The blanket that had been around my shoulders slipped, and the cold wind made me begin to shiver instantly. I broke the kiss and bent down to pick it up. When I stood up, something in the distance behind him caught my eye. I looked past, him at the shadowy figure that was standing several hundred meters behind us, squinting to get a better look. Something sliver glinted and my heart jumped as I realized what is was and who was holding it. Bill looked around too.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

“Move!” he yelled pushing me away, causing me to fall to the floor. A gunshot pierced the night air, and I saw something small and silver pierce the back of his chest and exit the other side. His hands flew up, clutching at his chest as he gasped in a breath.

No, not Bill.

“Bill?” I asked shakily. He didn’t reply, just looked down at his chest, and removed his hands. They were covered in his own blood. He looked over at me with wide eyes.

“Help!” I screamed, as he fell to his knees, making choking noises in his throat, “HELP!”

Figures began running over as I too fell to my knees. In the darkness, I could see the stain on Bill’s t-shirt spread. I took off the blanket that had been around my shoulders and pressed it tightly against his chest in a desperate attempt to stem the bleeding. I lifted up his head and wrapped my free arm around his shoulders, holding him as he shook, gasping breaths as a horrible rattling noise emitted from his chest.

I had watched enough horror films to know his lung had just collapsed and that was the horrifying rasping noise was the sound of air escaping through a pool of blood. Suddenly, the hand I was using to hold the blanket to his chest became warm and wet. The blood had already soaked through. That was far too much blood, far too much. I bit my lip fighting back tears as I stroked his head softly, running my fingers through his hair.

“It’s going to be alright,” I whispered, trying to sooth him, “Just hold on Bill, hold on.”

I smiled down at him as tears streamed down my cheeks.
“You can’t leave me now, we’ve only just met,” I laughed, trying to keep my spirit up.

Don’t leave me. Don’t leave Tom. Don’t leave Tokio Hotel. Just don’t fucking leave.

“You think I want to leave?” he chuckled in reply, but even that was difficult as he winced with the pain. His breathing had slowed and become much shallower. The rattling noises from his chest were significantly less. Was that good or bad?

He lifted his arm up and stroked me cheek. I grabbed his hand and held it there, letting my tears mix with the slowly drying blood on our hands. His hands were like ice, they had been so warm only moments before.

“BILL!” screamed Tom as he ran over. He was the third person to fall to their knees. Tom wrapped his arms around Bill, cradling him, tears pouring down his cheeks. I released my grip on Bill, letting his twin take over.
“No, Bill, my brother, my baby brother, don’t you f-ing die on me,” sobbed Tom. It truly is a heartbreaking sight to see an almost fully grown man cry.

Georg managed to prize a reluctant Tom off, so that the paramedics could take Bill away as quick as possible. Tom was inconsolable, screaming insults at Georg to let him go. I stood up and looked around, tears falling down my cheeks. Lucifer was, still lurking in the shadows grinning psychotically. I pointed a shaky finger his direction as I felt my sanity slip away.

“You f-ing b-stard,” I screamed. All reason had evaporated as I started walking towards him. Rosie, who had followed Tom over, grabbed the back of my t-shirt to stop my attempt at madness.

“Let go,” I hissed viciously, as my face drowned in the tears I cried. I turned back around, and stormed towards Lucifer. The police had noticed Lucifer, and were running over to restrain him. There were yells for me to stay back, but my anger had made me deaf to all sense.
“I’m going to kill you!” I screamed, “I’m going to rip you limb from limb, I’m going to…”

I didn’t hear the gunshot, but I felt the bullet. I put my hands against my middle in instinct. Pealing them off, I saw my hands were covered in blood, and this time, it was my own. Three policemen were restraining Lucifer, pinning him to the ground, wrestling his weapon off him.
“Sarah!” screamed a voice behind me. I couldn’t turn around. I was completely numb. I don’t even remember hitting the ground.

So I killed Bill. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life but I did. Too long had my stories ended with a happy ending. It was resolved of course, with a memorial concert thing. I still get messages from small girls telling me how much they cried. Its flattering, but when they start yelling at me, telling me that I can't end a story like that, I get pissed. Never mind!

So, next I jumped on the vampire band wagon. It was about the time that twilight was beginning to pick up some steam, so I wanted to try and get in before it got old (which inevitably it has!)

fanfic banner

It was called Tango Of The Moon. I'm quite pleased with the title. For once I had the title before I had the story. I quited liking this one, I can see where the vampire appeal comes from, it was real good fun to write!

Published: 12th June 2008 Read it here

Gingerly, he placed the smallest finger of his right hand into the glass and screwed his face up expectantly as he brought it to his mouth and licked off the gooey red substance. Bill began to splutter as soon as it touched his tongue. There was no mistaking that for anything else. In those glasses was blood.
“That’s real Tom!” he cried, furiously wiping his tongue with the sleeve of his t-shirt, backing off from the table with haste.

“You’re lying,” accused Tom, narrowing his eyes.

“Go try for yourself then if you don’t believe me!” replied Bill sharply, his voice breaking in places from fear. Hesitating, glancing once more at his brother, Tom dipped his finger into the other glass, brought it out again and licked it. His eyes grew wide and he spat it back out on the floor.

“No way...” he breathed, staring at the glasses with a mixture of fear and confusion, “There’s... that’s... oh my god.”
Tom glanced over at Bill who had retreated to the back of the room and was now spreading himself against the wall, farthest from table. Tom could see that he was trembling, like the temperature in the room had suddenly plummeted.

“Bill...what’s the...”

Tom trailed off as he noticed Bill’s face. He looked positively terrified, like he’d seen a ghost or something. He began tentatively walking towards Bill, his brow furrowed in confusion. Bill’s chest was heaving as he breathed in and out deeply. Tom could sense his mounting panic, but could not comprehend why. Suddenly, Bill glanced up from where he had been staring at the floor and looked at his brother. Tom let out a cry and scrabbled back from him across the aged floorboards. Bill’s eyes were not their usual brown, but a frightening crimson.
“Tom...” pleaded Bill, his voice pitiful and scared, “Help me.”
Aw. Poor boys all turning into vampires and what not. I may make these little sarcastic comments about the stories, but I'm still very proud of them!

Next was the one that shot me to momentary fame! But first I need to explain some back story! Fanfiction is heavliy influenced by "slash" which is where two characters of the same gender are paired romantically together. I don't really like this, my romantic heart is in boy/girl pairings. Maybe its my religion or maybe its just me, but that's all I can write. I don't have a problem with the people that do, it's just not my style.

HOWEVER, when the 'slashing' involves the TWIN brothers, it just crosses so many lines that it's just wrong. And this is what dominated the site where I wrote my stories. 'Het' fics (boy/girl pairings) were quite uncommon, and I was the proud owner of one of the only popular het fics around that time!

Anyway, here's the story synopsis: How far will one magazine go to get their story? HiGoss is a cheesy and trashy tabloid. When the scandals won’t happen, they find alternate means of getting their stories, at whatever the cost. Alannah Starr works for HiGoss, and has been assigned to write an article on Tokio Hotel. The catch? She has twenty-four hours to frame Bill Kaulitz as a playboy. Alannah has to break the mould, and get Bill to have a one night stand with her.

The banner:


Published: 29th of July 2008 Read it here


In that instant the spell was broken. The reflection in the mirrors on the outside of the wardrobe showed two people, yet I only recognised one. I was a stranger to myself. Then, all the guilt hit me like a train and instead of the heat of passion, I felt a nausea creep up into my stomach. I wouldn’t ever be able to look at myself in the mirror again, to live with myself knowing that I played the key role in destroying the life and reputation of a perfectly innocent and decent guy.

I couldn’t do it.

“Bill,” I gasped suddenly, “Bill stop.”

He halted his kisses and straightened so he was looking down at me, his brown eyes confused and concerned.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.

He was searching my face for an answer. Words caught up in my throat.
“I...I’m sorry,” I managed to croak out, “I can’t do this.”

He looked at me and after a moment gave me a small and sympathetic smile.
“It’s alright,” he whispered softly, “I understand.”

I should have bitten my tongue, swallowed the words down but I found them come up like vomit.
“You don’t understand,” I exclaimed suddenly. He looked at me strangely.

“What’s the matter then?”

There were many things I should have done at that moment in time, for one, I should have left having kept my mouth shut. It would have been so much simpler if I had just put my t-shirt back on and left the room, keeping him ignorant. However, that’s not the way events unfolded. I wasn’t sure if I was stupid or just naive but I found myself compelled to listen to the little voice in the back of my head that was whispering to me, convincing me that everything would work out for the best if I told the truth, if I confessed to him. After all, honesty is the best policy. Right?

“Bill,” I began, the words catching in my throat, “I...”

Every part of me was shaking.

“I’m being paid to do this,” I blurted suddenly, unaware of where the words had come from. All emotion left his face as my words sank in. Bill, who up until now had been on his hands and knees above me, crawled backwards to the end of the bed where he sat up over his heels, his eyes never leaving mine.


I let out a long breath before starting the explanation.
“The interview,” I panted, my furiously beating heart leaving me short of breath, “It’s fake. I’m being paid to sleep with you and then write about it.”

His face darkened with pain and anguish.

“I’m sorry,” I breathed, the look on his face breaking my heart.

He remained silent, no longer looking at me. Slowly he got off the bed, to his feet and walked over to the window. He stared out of it for what seemed like an age.
“And Christian?” he finally asked.

“T...taking photos... from the hotel across the street to p...prove it,” I stuttered against the cold that I suddenly felt, his warm and soft body now painfully far from mine.

“Bill...” I began, trying to make sense of everything in my head, “I never meant... I...”

I stopped as he held up a hand to silence me. Turning from the window, the look on his face cut through me like a thousand knives. The warmth and compassion that I’d seen in them all day were gone, to be replaced with ice cold, angry eyes.

“Get out,” he hissed.

Ooooh the suspense. This wasn't meant to be a big and popular story, in fact I wrote it as a side project from this big sci-fi epic that really didn't get picked up at all. I abandoned the sci-fi in favour of a sequal to this story, seeing as it was so popular, and I'd fallen in love with my original characters.

Alannah and Christian are back for round two, only this time, they’ve got themselves into a spot of bother. They’re jobless and have been cast out into the harsh world of freelance journalism and are struggling to keep their heads above water. Bill makes them an offer they literally can’t afford to reject. Bills solution proves invaluable and things look like they’re on the up. However, the past is not easily forgotten. Once Bill and Alannah were burned by the flames between them, now, both are reluctant to step back into the fire.



Published: 27th of September 2008 Read it here


Bill was late. Not overly late, only by fifteen minutes. I knew I would have to make allowances for his hectic lifestyle, but he had said that today was his day off. Maybe Tom had turned his alarm off and he had overslept. That would be one of the most likely reasons. But then he would have called to say he would be late. Bill wasn’t the type to stand anyone up for a date.

Then, I knocked myself around the head. It wasn’t a date. It was simply two friends meeting up for a perfectly innocent cup of coffee in a perfectly innocent coffee outlet.

Fed up with waiting and the girl asking me every two minutes if I was ready to order yet, I got up and joined the queue. When I got to the front, I predictably ordered a Vanilla latte and handed over my credit card. I hated paying for things on the card, but with so little money around, I never had any cash in my purse and had to pay with the card. I placed it into the little slot and waited for the screen to come up telling me to enter my pin. I waited, and I waited. The girl at the till apologised and tried the card again, cleaning the chip. This time the screen for the pin came up and I entered my pin.


Would you believe me if I said it was only a coincidence that it was Bill’s birthday? In my defence it’s an easy pin to remember.

The little card device started to beep and the girl at the till snatched it off me. I wondered for a moment if I’d entered my pin incorrectly. Then she took the card out and handed it back to me, shaking her head.

“Your card’s been rejected,” she said plainly.

I could feel the colour rise in my cheeks as I was thoroughly embarrassed. Fumbling with my purse I opened the coin department and emptied it out onto the counter trying to see if I could scrape together enough money. The business woman behind me sighed loudly and began to tap her shoe impatiently as I counted out the money. I was one euro and fifty three cents short of my coffee. I had never felt so humiliated before as I gathered up the change and put it back into my purse, muttering apologies.

A ten euro note, accompanied by a hand landed on the counter.
“I’ll pay. Give me a mocha while you’re at it.”

Looking up over my right shoulder at the gangly six foot something I smiled in relief. The smile quickly faded as Bill took off his sunglasses, revealing a very serious look on his face.
“Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?” he asked bluntly.

That was the last full Tokio Hotel story that I wrote. I did start another one, less romantic more action, based on the movie Taken with Liam Neeson, but I never finished it because of lack of enthusiasm!

So. That was the rather long trip through my Tokio Hotel year! I hope you enjoyed it. Next up is my very brief love affair with Avatar!

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