Thursday, 9 December 2010

My Fanfiction history - The Lordi months

April 2007-September 2007

Apart from some rather abysmal stories which I wrote when I was younger, I never finished a story until I discovered fanfiction. There my love bloomed.

For those of your that DON'T know, here's a definition of fanfiction: Fan fiction is Fiction written by fans as an extension of an admired work or series of works, especially movies, books, television show, often posted on the Internet or published in fanzines.

Don't judge me, but my first stories were about the band Lordi. If you're from europe, and were watching Eurovision around the year 2006, these guys won. They dress up as monsters and play 'heavy' metal music. The heavy is debatable. It was a very strange time in my life...

First story: Title 'Kita's story' about the drummer. Their 'costumes' are actually a guise, hiding the fact that they're actually monsters. Focused around a girl called Melissa who, to cut the plot short, discovers she's got psychic powers after Kita rescues her from a mugging. Very Mary Sue. I didn't even know what a Mary Sue was! Its predictable and not to mention ridiculous. I implied that the monsters could walk around as they pleased in broad daylight and not draw attention. A sample:

He showed her into the only furnished room in the house. Melissa gasped as she entered. The four walls were painted two different colours, pink and blue. There was a cot resting in the corner with a changing table and various other pieces of furniture.

Melissa placed her hand over her stomach, which was begging to swell on her thin frame.

She turned to Kita and smiled her eyes glazed over. Then suddenly she inhaled, her pupils dilated and she stood ridged.


No response. Kita held his breath and waited. A few moments later, she relaxed. Kita caught her as she fainted.

“Melissa? Are you alright?” he asked.

She groaned and opened her eyes.

“I…I think it was a vision.” She mumbled.

“What did you see?”

“A girl, woman, with fiery red hair. She said her name was Amanda. Kita, she wants us to go to Ox.”

“Why?” he asked confused.

“Because… she’s dead.”

Yeah she got knocked up. Told you it was predicable. So it led onto the next story. Ox's story. The idea of this quoting business is to show you how, HOPEFULLY my writing has improoved from approx. age 15 until now, nearly 19. I invented a prophecy in this one so as I could make a hash job of padding this out into a tilogy! There were people reading this by the way, on some long lost forum in cyberspace... I also managed to insert hell and satan into this somehow. I was a twisted little kid.

“I’m surrounded by idiots,” he moaned pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I’m sorry master, but the girl was aware of her powers and used them against me. It will not happen again, you can be sure of that!”

“Yes, indeed I can,” he sneered and with a flick of his wrist the demons skin erupted in flames. He watched in mild amusement as the flaming figure ran around screaming in agony. Finally the demon crumpled to ash on the floor.

“Clean up in aisle 4,” he sighed. A voluptuous blond appeared and wrapped her arms around him.

“Don’t despair my love,” she said, “They are much weaker than they actually appear; besides they have yet to find the 3rd girl so there is still hope.”

“Ah, of course you are right my dear Enary, there indeed is still hope for us."

So, there was a 3rd story in all this. Each of the monsters in the titles of this story got romantically involved with a normal person. I usually based them on people who I was friendly with on the forums so as to highten the interest in my stories! In the end they all lived happily ever after. Except Kalma. I killed him. But he was an ex-band member so was of little importance. Here's an exert from the last one.

It took him longer than usual to settle, and as sleep finally began to take hold of him he felt Lizzy move beside him. He opened an eye to see her leaning over him, something sharp and metal in her hand. As she lunged he rolled out of the way and onto the floor. He could feel the dagger cut his arm. As he stood up he could feel it grow white hot with pain. She came at him again, from across the room. He dodged and spun around, catching her arms and slamming her into the wall. Her eyes were red and her expression was that of anger and evil. It didn’t take him long to realise that this wasn’t Lizzy.

“What the f- have you done to her!” he yelled.

“Your pretty little girlfriend? She’s long gone. I’m just using her body. And such a nice body it is too, I can see why you wanted her.”

Lordi wanted to lash out, but something held him back.

“I love you Lordi,” it sneered imitating her voice, provoking him.

In a fit of rage he snatched the dagger off the demon and plunged it into its heart. As he did, the expression on her face changed and the red left her eyes. To his horror, the dagger he withdrew was covered in blood.


The demon had tricked him; Lizzy was still in the body. Lordi caught her as she slid down the wall.

“What have I done?” he breathed, panic rising in his voice. She gripped his hand as she gasped for breath.

“I’m so sorry…” he whispered over and over again.

“It’s ok.” She breathed her voice barely audible, “There was no way you could know I was still in this body. Besides, he’s done something to me; he would have just possessed me again. It’s better this way.”

“No, no it’s not better this way. I’ve already lost you once this week; I’m not going through it again.”

“I love you.”

“No, don’t say that. Don’t say goodbye.”

“Be strong.”

“Stop that! You’re going to be fine.” He soothed, cradling her in his arms. She gasped once more. The grip she had on his hand loosened and her head lolled to one side.

“No!” he breathed, as the last of her dying heart beats faded into the night.

Oh the drama. They eventually defeated Satan, and then cast one of those big spell kind of things and turned themselves human and everyone, except those who died, lived happily ever after. And they all had kids, because I get a kick out of that kind of mush.

Next I wrote another story about a girl who could control the monsters without knowing it, using it to hunt down all her school bullies (did I mention she was a horribly mistreated girl with no-one to turn to? Well she was one of those.) But I never finished it because another band totally stole all my attentions, and would continue to do so for almost a year! But that's for another blog...

What do you think? Does my writing improve at all from one sample to the next?

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