The scribblings, ramblings, inspirations and whatever's of a wanna-be writer and avid reader.
Thursday, 30 December 2010
Dreaming...
Another place which inspires me is my dreams.
Some people have crazy dreams about flying in a plane made of jam and watching your Aunt Bertie juggling potatoes or something weird like that. Some people don't dream at all.
My dreams tend to be epic. They feel like movies sometimes, and with a little re-working some of them could make pretty awesome stories.
I used to have a dream diary where I wrote down all the dreams which I could remember (because, I can't always remember them, just the extra epic ones!) but I've lost it :( I'm going to have to start it again with another notebook...
Do you dream? What about?
Saturday, 25 December 2010
Happy Christmas!
I hope you all had a wonderful day wherever you were and whoever you spent the day with. I spent the day with my mum, dad, gran and grandad and some cats. I got some lovely things and we ate some lovely food! (My mum is a bit of a genius!)
I got the Pillars of the Earth DVD set as a present so I'm immensely happy that I don't have to wait for hours for a megavideo to load every time I want to see it! I also got some nice pens (I love pens... it's kind of a weird obsession) to write with!
I've done it again of course, and found another something which I've fallen in love with, and that is the movie: Prince of Persia!
Jake Gyllenhaal is FITT (the extra T is for emphasis) and I just adore Gemma Arterton in anything she's done so far! This really isn't a good thing as I have University exams coming up in two weeks which I really cannot afford NOT to work for! I'm already about 3 chapters into a fanfiction, which I'll post a link to here if anyone is interested when I do start to post it. Hopefully I can effectively balance the story with my revision.
Hopefully this is only another of my 'phases' and when I've got the story written and out of my system I can return to my original novel!
Boy do I like to keep busy!
Merry Christmas, and God Bless!
Sarah
Saturday, 18 December 2010
My Fanfiction History - The Tokio Hotel Year
I don't know what it was, but I saw them on TV in September 2007 and just fell in love, especially with Bill, the lead singer. I thought he was beautiful!
My first fanfiction about them carried on my trend of being unbelievably predictable and silly. It was based around the twins (The one with the black hair and the one with the dread locks in the picture are indeed twin brothers...) who moved to England to complete their school education. (Why I have no idea, but it meant I could write it in English, instead of German). So the main girl in it, she was again, bullied and horribly mistreated by her fellow classmates. She almost went as far as throwing herself off the roof of the school (Which matched the title of the story and one of Tokio Hotel's songs: Don't Jump). But of course this handsome, foreign stranger came to her rescue (Bill) and there began a beautiful adventure of Exams, general school drama, and then she joined the band in Germany for a tour. It all came full circle when she rescued Bill from a roof contemplating suicide after she left him for a misunderstanding.
Oh, how deeply emotional and complex my characters were. Look! They felt so bad they were going to kill themselves!... >_>
Sample:
“Please don’t do this,” begged Bill, tears in the corners of his eyes.
“Bill, let go please,” I whispered softly, lowering my face, unable to look him in the eye.
“Not until I get a face to face explanation.”
“I said what I needed to say in the letter.”
“Then say it again, and say it to my face,” he shouted, raising his voice.
“Fine!” I snapped, “Bill I need to get away. This is just too much for me. I’m going to go insane!” Being mad at him was impossible; I softened my face and put my hands on his cheeks.
“I love you, you’re my world, you’re my everything, but I just can’t cope with all the other crap.”
“Ok, then we delay the tour and take a holiday,” he suggested, trying to rationalise things.
“No Bill, you don’t get it. It needs to be away from you. If you come, then everything I’m trying to escape from comes too. I just need a break, without you.”
To my surprise, he nodded in understanding.
“You’re coming back though?”
I didn’t answer, just looked down at the ticket in my trembling hands.
“Emilie, you’re coming back aren’t you?” he repeated, his voice more urgent.
“I don’t know,” I whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear.
“You’re… you’re not coming back are you?” he asked, his voice breaking as he choked up.
“I said I don’t know,” I shouted desperately as tears poured down my cheeks, “Bill, my flight, I have to go.”
“Emilie, tell me you’re coming back,” he pleaded grabbing onto my arm again as I tried to leave.
“I… I can’t.”
He let go of my arm. I was trembling, I hated myself for what I was doing to him. I was tearing his heart out and stamping on it. Unable to bear the tension between us anymore, I whispered a goodbye softly and turned to go. Once more he grabbed my arm and spun me around. His lips crushed against mine and I melted. He was crying too, I could feel his tears mixing with mine as we kissed. I couldn’t take it any longer. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away, breaking the kiss.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I turned and ran towards the gate. I heard him call out my name behind me but I refused to turn around. I couldn’t look at him anymore; my heart couldn’t take much more.
Oh how my heart bleeds... Actually, on second thoughts I don't think it's that bad when it's out of context. In reality their conflict was very petty and fuitile and wouldn't have amounted to that level of drama. One good thing I learnt from this though, was how much I enjoyed writing in 1st person. It gives a really good perspective for emotion and you can really get into it, especially as a writer.
Next I wrote a shameless self insert, which for those of you who don't know is where you put your actual self into the story, not as a character, but just plain old you! Only I wasn't so plain. I was a musician and our band was at the EMA awards in Munich with Tokio Hotel. At the after party we all become the best of friends, and that's when the Eco terrorists attack! MWHAHA. Yes. So terrorists attack, holding us 'celebrities' hostage. Oh the fun. Then we try to escape all James Bond style, because the story would be boring otherwise. Oh, and I made a pretty picture to go with it!
Published: 17th April, 2008. Read it here
Exert:
The blanket that had been around my shoulders slipped, and the cold wind made me begin to shiver instantly. I broke the kiss and bent down to pick it up. When I stood up, something in the distance behind him caught my eye. I looked past, him at the shadowy figure that was standing several hundred meters behind us, squinting to get a better look. Something sliver glinted and my heart jumped as I realized what is was and who was holding it. Bill looked around too.
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion.
“Move!” he yelled pushing me away, causing me to fall to the floor. A gunshot pierced the night air, and I saw something small and silver pierce the back of his chest and exit the other side. His hands flew up, clutching at his chest as he gasped in a breath.
No, not Bill.
“Bill?” I asked shakily. He didn’t reply, just looked down at his chest, and removed his hands. They were covered in his own blood. He looked over at me with wide eyes.
“Help!” I screamed, as he fell to his knees, making choking noises in his throat, “HELP!”
Figures began running over as I too fell to my knees. In the darkness, I could see the stain on Bill’s t-shirt spread. I took off the blanket that had been around my shoulders and pressed it tightly against his chest in a desperate attempt to stem the bleeding. I lifted up his head and wrapped my free arm around his shoulders, holding him as he shook, gasping breaths as a horrible rattling noise emitted from his chest.
I had watched enough horror films to know his lung had just collapsed and that was the horrifying rasping noise was the sound of air escaping through a pool of blood. Suddenly, the hand I was using to hold the blanket to his chest became warm and wet. The blood had already soaked through. That was far too much blood, far too much. I bit my lip fighting back tears as I stroked his head softly, running my fingers through his hair.
“It’s going to be alright,” I whispered, trying to sooth him, “Just hold on Bill, hold on.”
I smiled down at him as tears streamed down my cheeks.
“You can’t leave me now, we’ve only just met,” I laughed, trying to keep my spirit up.
Don’t leave me. Don’t leave Tom. Don’t leave Tokio Hotel. Just don’t fucking leave.
“You think I want to leave?” he chuckled in reply, but even that was difficult as he winced with the pain. His breathing had slowed and become much shallower. The rattling noises from his chest were significantly less. Was that good or bad?
He lifted his arm up and stroked me cheek. I grabbed his hand and held it there, letting my tears mix with the slowly drying blood on our hands. His hands were like ice, they had been so warm only moments before.
“BILL!” screamed Tom as he ran over. He was the third person to fall to their knees. Tom wrapped his arms around Bill, cradling him, tears pouring down his cheeks. I released my grip on Bill, letting his twin take over.
“No, Bill, my brother, my baby brother, don’t you f-ing die on me,” sobbed Tom. It truly is a heartbreaking sight to see an almost fully grown man cry.
Georg managed to prize a reluctant Tom off, so that the paramedics could take Bill away as quick as possible. Tom was inconsolable, screaming insults at Georg to let him go. I stood up and looked around, tears falling down my cheeks. Lucifer was, still lurking in the shadows grinning psychotically. I pointed a shaky finger his direction as I felt my sanity slip away.
“You f-ing b-stard,” I screamed. All reason had evaporated as I started walking towards him. Rosie, who had followed Tom over, grabbed the back of my t-shirt to stop my attempt at madness.
“Let go,” I hissed viciously, as my face drowned in the tears I cried. I turned back around, and stormed towards Lucifer. The police had noticed Lucifer, and were running over to restrain him. There were yells for me to stay back, but my anger had made me deaf to all sense.
“I’m going to kill you!” I screamed, “I’m going to rip you limb from limb, I’m going to…”
I didn’t hear the gunshot, but I felt the bullet. I put my hands against my middle in instinct. Pealing them off, I saw my hands were covered in blood, and this time, it was my own. Three policemen were restraining Lucifer, pinning him to the ground, wrestling his weapon off him.
“Sarah!” screamed a voice behind me. I couldn’t turn around. I was completely numb. I don’t even remember hitting the ground.
So, next I jumped on the vampire band wagon. It was about the time that twilight was beginning to pick up some steam, so I wanted to try and get in before it got old (which inevitably it has!)
It was called Tango Of The Moon. I'm quite pleased with the title. For once I had the title before I had the story. I quited liking this one, I can see where the vampire appeal comes from, it was real good fun to write!
Published: 12th June 2008 Read it here
Gingerly, he placed the smallest finger of his right hand into the glass and screwed his face up expectantly as he brought it to his mouth and licked off the gooey red substance. Bill began to splutter as soon as it touched his tongue. There was no mistaking that for anything else. In those glasses was blood.Aw. Poor boys all turning into vampires and what not. I may make these little sarcastic comments about the stories, but I'm still very proud of them!
“That’s real Tom!” he cried, furiously wiping his tongue with the sleeve of his t-shirt, backing off from the table with haste.
“You’re lying,” accused Tom, narrowing his eyes.
“Go try for yourself then if you don’t believe me!” replied Bill sharply, his voice breaking in places from fear. Hesitating, glancing once more at his brother, Tom dipped his finger into the other glass, brought it out again and licked it. His eyes grew wide and he spat it back out on the floor.
“No way...” he breathed, staring at the glasses with a mixture of fear and confusion, “There’s... that’s... oh my god.”
Tom glanced over at Bill who had retreated to the back of the room and was now spreading himself against the wall, farthest from table. Tom could see that he was trembling, like the temperature in the room had suddenly plummeted.
“Bill...what’s the...”
Tom trailed off as he noticed Bill’s face. He looked positively terrified, like he’d seen a ghost or something. He began tentatively walking towards Bill, his brow furrowed in confusion. Bill’s chest was heaving as he breathed in and out deeply. Tom could sense his mounting panic, but could not comprehend why. Suddenly, Bill glanced up from where he had been staring at the floor and looked at his brother. Tom let out a cry and scrabbled back from him across the aged floorboards. Bill’s eyes were not their usual brown, but a frightening crimson.
“Tom...” pleaded Bill, his voice pitiful and scared, “Help me.”
Next was the one that shot me to momentary fame! But first I need to explain some back story! Fanfiction is heavliy influenced by "slash" which is where two characters of the same gender are paired romantically together. I don't really like this, my romantic heart is in boy/girl pairings. Maybe its my religion or maybe its just me, but that's all I can write. I don't have a problem with the people that do, it's just not my style.
HOWEVER, when the 'slashing' involves the TWIN brothers, it just crosses so many lines that it's just wrong. And this is what dominated the site where I wrote my stories. 'Het' fics (boy/girl pairings) were quite uncommon, and I was the proud owner of one of the only popular het fics around that time!
Anyway, here's the story synopsis: How far will one magazine go to get their story? HiGoss is a cheesy and trashy tabloid. When the scandals won’t happen, they find alternate means of getting their stories, at whatever the cost. Alannah Starr works for HiGoss, and has been assigned to write an article on Tokio Hotel. The catch? She has twenty-four hours to frame Bill Kaulitz as a playboy. Alannah has to break the mould, and get Bill to have a one night stand with her.
The banner:
Published: 29th of July 2008 Read it here
Exert:
In that instant the spell was broken. The reflection in the mirrors on the outside of the wardrobe showed two people, yet I only recognised one. I was a stranger to myself. Then, all the guilt hit me like a train and instead of the heat of passion, I felt a nausea creep up into my stomach. I wouldn’t ever be able to look at myself in the mirror again, to live with myself knowing that I played the key role in destroying the life and reputation of a perfectly innocent and decent guy.
I couldn’t do it.
“Bill,” I gasped suddenly, “Bill stop.”
He halted his kisses and straightened so he was looking down at me, his brown eyes confused and concerned.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
He was searching my face for an answer. Words caught up in my throat.
“I...I’m sorry,” I managed to croak out, “I can’t do this.”
He looked at me and after a moment gave me a small and sympathetic smile.
“It’s alright,” he whispered softly, “I understand.”
I should have bitten my tongue, swallowed the words down but I found them come up like vomit.
“You don’t understand,” I exclaimed suddenly. He looked at me strangely.
“What’s the matter then?”
There were many things I should have done at that moment in time, for one, I should have left having kept my mouth shut. It would have been so much simpler if I had just put my t-shirt back on and left the room, keeping him ignorant. However, that’s not the way events unfolded. I wasn’t sure if I was stupid or just naive but I found myself compelled to listen to the little voice in the back of my head that was whispering to me, convincing me that everything would work out for the best if I told the truth, if I confessed to him. After all, honesty is the best policy. Right?
“Bill,” I began, the words catching in my throat, “I...”
Every part of me was shaking.
“I’m being paid to do this,” I blurted suddenly, unaware of where the words had come from. All emotion left his face as my words sank in. Bill, who up until now had been on his hands and knees above me, crawled backwards to the end of the bed where he sat up over his heels, his eyes never leaving mine.
“What?”
I let out a long breath before starting the explanation.
“The interview,” I panted, my furiously beating heart leaving me short of breath, “It’s fake. I’m being paid to sleep with you and then write about it.”
His face darkened with pain and anguish.
“I’m sorry,” I breathed, the look on his face breaking my heart.
He remained silent, no longer looking at me. Slowly he got off the bed, to his feet and walked over to the window. He stared out of it for what seemed like an age.
“And Christian?” he finally asked.
“T...taking photos... from the hotel across the street to p...prove it,” I stuttered against the cold that I suddenly felt, his warm and soft body now painfully far from mine.
“Bill...” I began, trying to make sense of everything in my head, “I never meant... I...”
I stopped as he held up a hand to silence me. Turning from the window, the look on his face cut through me like a thousand knives. The warmth and compassion that I’d seen in them all day were gone, to be replaced with ice cold, angry eyes.
“Get out,” he hissed.
Ooooh the suspense. This wasn't meant to be a big and popular story, in fact I wrote it as a side project from this big sci-fi epic that really didn't get picked up at all. I abandoned the sci-fi in favour of a sequal to this story, seeing as it was so popular, and I'd fallen in love with my original characters.
Summary: Alannah and Christian are back for round two, only this time, they’ve got themselves into a spot of bother. They’re jobless and have been cast out into the harsh world of freelance journalism and are struggling to keep their heads above water. Bill makes them an offer they literally can’t afford to reject. Bills solution proves invaluable and things look like they’re on the up. However, the past is not easily forgotten. Once Bill and Alannah were burned by the flames between them, now, both are reluctant to step back into the fire.
Banner:
Published: 27th of September 2008 Read it here
Exert:
Bill was late. Not overly late, only by fifteen minutes. I knew I would have to make allowances for his hectic lifestyle, but he had said that today was his day off. Maybe Tom had turned his alarm off and he had overslept. That would be one of the most likely reasons. But then he would have called to say he would be late. Bill wasn’t the type to stand anyone up for a date.
Then, I knocked myself around the head. It wasn’t a date. It was simply two friends meeting up for a perfectly innocent cup of coffee in a perfectly innocent coffee outlet.
Fed up with waiting and the girl asking me every two minutes if I was ready to order yet, I got up and joined the queue. When I got to the front, I predictably ordered a Vanilla latte and handed over my credit card. I hated paying for things on the card, but with so little money around, I never had any cash in my purse and had to pay with the card. I placed it into the little slot and waited for the screen to come up telling me to enter my pin. I waited, and I waited. The girl at the till apologised and tried the card again, cleaning the chip. This time the screen for the pin came up and I entered my pin.
9-1-8-9
Would you believe me if I said it was only a coincidence that it was Bill’s birthday? In my defence it’s an easy pin to remember.
The little card device started to beep and the girl at the till snatched it off me. I wondered for a moment if I’d entered my pin incorrectly. Then she took the card out and handed it back to me, shaking her head.
“Your card’s been rejected,” she said plainly.
I could feel the colour rise in my cheeks as I was thoroughly embarrassed. Fumbling with my purse I opened the coin department and emptied it out onto the counter trying to see if I could scrape together enough money. The business woman behind me sighed loudly and began to tap her shoe impatiently as I counted out the money. I was one euro and fifty three cents short of my coffee. I had never felt so humiliated before as I gathered up the change and put it back into my purse, muttering apologies.
A ten euro note, accompanied by a hand landed on the counter.
“I’ll pay. Give me a mocha while you’re at it.”
Looking up over my right shoulder at the gangly six foot something I smiled in relief. The smile quickly faded as Bill took off his sunglasses, revealing a very serious look on his face.
“Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?” he asked bluntly.
That was the last full Tokio Hotel story that I wrote. I did start another one, less romantic more action, based on the movie Taken with Liam Neeson, but I never finished it because of lack of enthusiasm!
So. That was the rather long trip through my Tokio Hotel year! I hope you enjoyed it. Next up is my very brief love affair with Avatar!
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
The Pillars Of The Earth
Well, never personally met the man, but what I suppose I should say instead is that I love his creation. The Pillars of The Earth was a book he wrote, and published in 1989.
I bought the book for my mum for Christmas one year when I was younger and didn't really put much thought into present buying. Usually mum was the book with the coolest cover, and dad the item with the funniest meaning, like some novelty socks or tie.
Twenty years after it was published it was made into a 8 part TV series by Starz. It was broadcast in the UK on channel 4 in October-November and it was amazing!
Check out the trailer!
I loved Matthew MacFadyen in Pride and Prejudice, and Little Dorrit and he was yet again superb in this. He does period drama's so well! I'd never heard of Eddie Redmayne but he was amazing, and so easy on the eyes!
It's such an all star cast too! Ian McShane does such a satisfying 'baddie'. Then there's Donald Sutherland as the Earl of Shiring, Rufus Sewell as Tom Builder. More shameless name dropping: Hayley Atwell, Sarah Parish, Tony Curran, Alison Pill and young Skye Bennett made a superb effort for her first big job.
The series had me gripped, to the point where I actually couldn't wait to find out what happened next and watched the finale online as it had been aired in America before here. It was just breathtaking, and I can't wait until I get the DVD for Christmas so I can watch it all again (even though I already have seen each episode twice now!)
The soundtrack is also a dream to listen to. It's written by the little known Trevor Morris, who created the soundtrack to The Tudors, and some rather low key games. He really needs a bit more credit for his work!
Then to the book!
Althought I know my mum has the book SOMEWHERE, our house isn't exactly catalogued and she has no idea where she has left it. SO, I decided to give the audiobook a try.
Itunes was my first port of call, but the preview button didn't work, so I couldn't test out the voice. It would have been a waste of money, £15 or something like that, if the voice had just annoyed me... Then I tried Audible, an American site where you pay $14.95 a month and can download one audiobook free that month, and get money off the rest. You're also allowed a 14-day free trial, and can get one book, for free, during this time. I couldn't resist and signed up straight away! It didn't take too long to download POTE, which, by the way is over 40 hours long! I'm already over half way through the book, which although different from the mini series, is just as good!
Audiobooks work much better for me, as I spend a lot of time walking to and from classes, and then travelling at the weekend. I can also do other things while listening, which you can't with a book. Don't get me wrong, I love reading, and still do, but I'm limited to whatever time I spend on the loo, and maybe a few minutes snatched before bed.
And another plus point for Audible, I tried to cancel my membership before my free trial ended, and they offered to half the price of the membership to $7.95 for the first 3 months! I didn't turn it down, needless to say. Reccommend me some books?
By chance I'm also reading a book at the moment which is set in the same time as POTE, around the Civil war in England. This has no doubt had an effect on where my head's at, as all my idea's are somewhat medieval influenced, but with a twist. I'll maybe reveal more if I think I'm going to stick at the plot I'm currently working on. I'll let you know!
Thursday, 9 December 2010
My Fanfiction history - The Lordi months
So.
Apart from some rather abysmal stories which I wrote when I was younger, I never finished a story until I discovered fanfiction. There my love bloomed.
For those of your that DON'T know, here's a definition of fanfiction: Fan fiction is Fiction written by fans as an extension of an admired work or series of works, especially movies, books, television show, often posted on the Internet or published in fanzines.
Don't judge me, but my first stories were about the band Lordi. If you're from europe, and were watching Eurovision around the year 2006, these guys won. They dress up as monsters and play 'heavy' metal music. The heavy is debatable. It was a very strange time in my life...
First story: Title 'Kita's story' about the drummer. Their 'costumes' are actually a guise, hiding the fact that they're actually monsters. Focused around a girl called Melissa who, to cut the plot short, discovers she's got psychic powers after Kita rescues her from a mugging. Very Mary Sue. I didn't even know what a Mary Sue was! Its predictable and not to mention ridiculous. I implied that the monsters could walk around as they pleased in broad daylight and not draw attention. A sample:
He showed her into the only furnished room in the house. Melissa gasped as she entered. The four walls were painted two different colours, pink and blue. There was a cot resting in the corner with a changing table and various other pieces of furniture.
Melissa placed her hand over her stomach, which was begging to swell on her thin frame.
She turned to Kita and smiled her eyes glazed over. Then suddenly she inhaled, her pupils dilated and she stood ridged.
“Melissa?”
No response. Kita held his breath and waited. A few moments later, she relaxed. Kita caught her as she fainted.
“Melissa? Are you alright?” he asked.
She groaned and opened her eyes.
“I…I think it was a vision.” She mumbled.
“What did you see?”
“A girl, woman, with fiery red hair. She said her name was Amanda. Kita, she wants us to go to Ox.”
“Why?” he asked confused.
“Because… she’s dead.”
Yeah she got knocked up. Told you it was predicable. So it led onto the next story. Ox's story. The idea of this quoting business is to show you how, HOPEFULLY my writing has improoved from approx. age 15 until now, nearly 19. I invented a prophecy in this one so as I could make a hash job of padding this out into a tilogy! There were people reading this by the way, on some long lost forum in cyberspace... I also managed to insert hell and satan into this somehow. I was a twisted little kid.
“I’m surrounded by idiots,” he moaned pinching the bridge of his nose.
“I’m sorry master, but the girl was aware of her powers and used them against me. It will not happen again, you can be sure of that!”
“Yes, indeed I can,” he sneered and with a flick of his wrist the demons skin erupted in flames. He watched in mild amusement as the flaming figure ran around screaming in agony. Finally the demon crumpled to ash on the floor.
“Clean up in aisle 4,” he sighed. A voluptuous blond appeared and wrapped her arms around him.
“Don’t despair my love,” she said, “They are much weaker than they actually appear; besides they have yet to find the 3rd girl so there is still hope.”
“Ah, of course you are right my dear Enary, there indeed is still hope for us."
So, there was a 3rd story in all this. Each of the monsters in the titles of this story got romantically involved with a normal person. I usually based them on people who I was friendly with on the forums so as to highten the interest in my stories! In the end they all lived happily ever after. Except Kalma. I killed him. But he was an ex-band member so was of little importance. Here's an exert from the last one.
It took him longer than usual to settle, and as sleep finally began to take hold of him he felt Lizzy move beside him. He opened an eye to see her leaning over him, something sharp and metal in her hand. As she lunged he rolled out of the way and onto the floor. He could feel the dagger cut his arm. As he stood up he could feel it grow white hot with pain. She came at him again, from across the room. He dodged and spun around, catching her arms and slamming her into the wall. Her eyes were red and her expression was that of anger and evil. It didn’t take him long to realise that this wasn’t Lizzy.
“What the f- have you done to her!” he yelled.
“Your pretty little girlfriend? She’s long gone. I’m just using her body. And such a nice body it is too, I can see why you wanted her.”
Lordi wanted to lash out, but something held him back.
“I love you Lordi,” it sneered imitating her voice, provoking him.
In a fit of rage he snatched the dagger off the demon and plunged it into its heart. As he did, the expression on her face changed and the red left her eyes. To his horror, the dagger he withdrew was covered in blood.
“L..Lordi?”
The demon had tricked him; Lizzy was still in the body. Lordi caught her as she slid down the wall.
“What have I done?” he breathed, panic rising in his voice. She gripped his hand as she gasped for breath.
“I’m so sorry…” he whispered over and over again.
“It’s ok.” She breathed her voice barely audible, “There was no way you could know I was still in this body. Besides, he’s done something to me; he would have just possessed me again. It’s better this way.”
“No, no it’s not better this way. I’ve already lost you once this week; I’m not going through it again.”
“I love you.”
“No, don’t say that. Don’t say goodbye.”
“Be strong.”
“Stop that! You’re going to be fine.” He soothed, cradling her in his arms. She gasped once more. The grip she had on his hand loosened and her head lolled to one side.
“No!” he breathed, as the last of her dying heart beats faded into the night.
Oh the drama. They eventually defeated Satan, and then cast one of those big spell kind of things and turned themselves human and everyone, except those who died, lived happily ever after. And they all had kids, because I get a kick out of that kind of mush.
Next I wrote another story about a girl who could control the monsters without knowing it, using it to hunt down all her school bullies (did I mention she was a horribly mistreated girl with no-one to turn to? Well she was one of those.) But I never finished it because another band totally stole all my attentions, and would continue to do so for almost a year! But that's for another blog...
What do you think? Does my writing improve at all from one sample to the next?