Closing doors

No, this isn't a post about my pet peeve of not closing the door behind you in winter.

It's about life's doors closing.

Quick recap: about this time last year I was really confused about what I wanted to do with my life after my approaching final year of my degree. I didn't really like my course well enough to pursue the careers open to me.

Then, slowly, I began to come around to the idea of teaching Biology to High schoolers. It was something that I'd never really considered, but as soon as I did everything seemed to fall into place. I'm involved in various youth groups and teach Sunday school so it was almost like a natural progression. Everything went according to plan, I put in my application (to the one institution in my country that does teacher training for Biology at High School level), I had my interview in March and then began the long wait. About a week ago we were informed that the acceptance letters had been sent.

So I waited... and waited... as most of the other applicants I knew received their letters. It is now way past the time that conceivably could be 'late post' and there is no offer for me. I could be on a reserve list, but that in itself is a long shot.

So what now?

Well I have to wait out the summer to see if I get in on reserve. Then the arduous task of finding work begins while I re-apply for teaching for 2014.

So this is rejection. This is what I'll have to face if I ever pursue publishing.

It really hurts.

Sarah x

P.s. if another person tells me that when one door closes another opens, I'm going to punch them. I will eventually come round to that idea on my own. But for now I just want to wallow in the pool of self pity under the blanket fort that I have created.