Wednesday, 17 July 2013

I've got letters... after my name!

On Wednesday 3rd of July, I walked across a stage, shook the hand of the Vice-Chancellor of my University, and received a piece of paper that confirmed that I had, indeed, graduated from University.


No mortar board? What do you expect me to throw, my shoe?

If I don't sound that enthusiastic it's because I'm not. Does that make me selfish, or foolish, or perhaps both? I ticked the boxes that people my age are supposed to and now I've got a degree that I don't really want. Sure, it'll help me to get into teaching should I get accepted next year, or the year after that. But in the mean time, I'm just floating in limbo.

Jobs aren't exactly common right now. Especially part time ones that would facilitate me volunteering at schools to get teaching experience so that I don't have to go through another year of limbo after this one.

I had thought if I got rejected from teaching (which I did) that I could take a year out, find a part time job, and pursue writing in my spare time. The job finding bit, proving difficult. The writing bit? Also difficult. There's no point in having a plan B when it doesn't want to be a plan at all. If you could be fired from writing, I would have been years ago.

I'm feeling a bit disillusioned about, well, life in general. They tell you that you're young and the world is at your feet. Why then does everything seem out of my reach, even when I jump? Perhaps my luck will change tomorrow, or the day after. Things always look darkest before the dawn, right?

On the other hand, I could be just too grown up for my own good. Most 21 year olds don't really care much about jobs and future. They're happy living in the now. I on the other hand, I spend today twiddling my thumbs waiting for things to look better tomorrow.

I'm just lucky I supposed that I have supportive parents who are allowing me to live rent free until I get my feet on the ground.

Have you come out the other side of something like this? Was your graduation something that you celebrated or something that you shrugged you shoulders at?

Sarah x