I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I've recently had some experience of this myself.
You'll only have to scroll down a post to read that I had gotten myself a new job looking after my cousin. This was after I had been rejected from my teacher training degree.
I told a little bit of a lie there. I hadn't been 100% rejected, but rather I'd been put on the waiting list in case someone decided they didn't want their place. But me, being my melodramatic, self figured that this was as good as rejection seeing as I'd never get in on the waiting list. The course is so difficult to get into that no-one was going to turn it down, right?
Apparently not. This day last week I got a phone call, offering me the place someone had given up only that morning. I burst into tears on the phone I was so happy. The poor secretary! My aunt and uncle have recruited family members to look after the kid while they get someone permanent.
So yay! I actually have a viable career pathway!
But what has this got to do about feeling insecure? Well, just like the title says, everything happens for a reason, and I'm terrified that the obstacles that keep getting thrown in the way of my writing is God (or fate if you prefer) trying to tell me that this isn't what I'm meant to do! Perhaps it's not right now, or perhaps it's never. I can't tell. Will inspiration strike me on my train journeys while I'm commuting to class? Will my summer holidays turn into my writing window? Or maybe my over active imagination is going to be put to use on teaching instead of fiction? Perhaps my future teaching jobs (with teenagers!) will help me to be a better YA writer because I'll be spending most off my days around the age group with my target audience! I'll have to wit and see!
But for now I'm just so glad I got onto the course. I've got a very busy year ahead of me.
Wish me luck!